Women In Red ~ Philadelphia
On Sunday, I attended a Women in Red get together in Philadelphia. I wasn’t really sure what to expect but I decided to go there with an open mind, listen and see where this would lead me.
It was fascinating, the idea of a group to get together and talk about how we all handle money, where we’ve all been and where we’re headed, learning from others and their experiences in the process, possibly throwing in an “expert” occasionally for a little guidance. Very fascinating.
It was a small turnout but I felt that it could be the beginning of something bigger.
A lot of people don’t talk about money and it’s really a shame. I went to lunch with a bunch of coworkers on Friday and I mentioned that I was going to the WIR meeting that weekend. I explained what it was and suddenly the table was engulfed in excited discussion about money, retirement funds and savings. One woman started discussing how she rolled over a 401k and told who I assumed was her financial planner that as long as she was making money, she was happy with what he was doing with her money. What exactly that meant, I don’t know. Did he put her money into a money market account for a safe, positive return? Is he investing her money in mutual funds giving her the proper mix of stocks and bonds for her anticipated retirement age? Who knows. I’m not even sure she does.
I wanted to ask all sorts of questions, but I didn’t. Why? It just didn’t seem appropriate.
I’ve been reading and posting to the WIR message boards for a little while. I like that there are very few inappropriate financial questions. What I really like is watching women rally around one another to give advice, sympathize and be supportive. Don’t get me wrong, there is the occasional finger waggle but that’s not what this is about. It’s about setting goals and finding the knowledge and motivation to help reach those goals. It’s a community.
Why am I reading these types of message boards and attending get togethers when everything but our mortgage is paid in full? As I explained to Mia (MP Dunleavey) on Sunday, “This is kind of like AA to me.” Not that AA is anything to joke about, but even recovering alcoholics still attend AA. Why do they do that? If they don’t stay focused, stay close to their issues and on top of them, they could lose sight of how far they’ve come and relapse very easily.
I need to keep in mind where I’ve come from and how far I’ve come to get to this point. Most importantly, I think what I need the most is direction. So I’ve come this far. Now what? Where do I go from here? How do I get there?
Where did I come from? While I shredded every last piece of evidence that could give me exact numbers, at our worst, we probably had:
- $20k+ in credit card debt
- $30-35k in student loans
- $25k from a car loan
- $22k of miscellaneous other debts
- No equity in anything
- Only assets were two old cars and one that had a car loan.
Where are we now?
- No debt, except the mortgage
- A six-figure net worth
- Year #1 of us maxing out our 401ks.
So where to? I’m still trying to work through that part. Obviously, the ultimate goal is a comfortable retirement, but in the meantime, there is life to be lived and goals to be accomplished between here and there.
While WIR can’t set my goals for me, it sure is a comfortable feeling to see people following the path I was just on, others who are about where I am and looking for direction and finally those who are way ahead of me and sharing their lessons learned from their journeys thus far.
By taking the Women in Red to local communities, it has the potential to make a greater impact by bringing even more women into a place where talking personal finance is no longer taboo. Taking the shame and inappropriateness out of talking about money and debt can really open the doors for more people to gain financial control over their lives.
It’s about time!
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